you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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