I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
