Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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