Can Purell be used as lube?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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