The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
