"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
