That's intense
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
