so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
