He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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