All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize