On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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