Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
