Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
