The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
