I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
