Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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