you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
