omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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