You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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