WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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