Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
