you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
