This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
