Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
