dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
and she was petting her beer can
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
