quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
