if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
