Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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