I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
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