My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
