Do vagina's smell?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
