Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
