It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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