Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
