There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Randomize
