did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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