I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Randomize
