**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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