I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
