Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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