why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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