They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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