Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
