I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
