That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Couch. On fire.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
