1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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