her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
