I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
