So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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