I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
