Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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